Social Blindness

Social Blindness.

When you have been alone as much as I have.  Then you start thinking you are well past your sell-by-date.  I haven't been out with a girl now for 23 years.  That's a bloody long time 2 do without someone elses company. 

Other than this, I have a Social Blind disability.  Maybe this is one of the reasons, that I just can't seem 2 get along with anyone.  Asperger's causes us outsiders, 2 withdraw into our own safe little worlds.  This can take place for many many years.  We end up suffering from Shelf Life Fatigue.  You start questioning the reliability of others.  And if you've been let down constantly by society like me.  Then you know your days of love have become reduced by the selfishness of others.

Whatever I have done in this life, it has never been satisfying 2 others.  There is another factor involved with my distrust of people too.  It manifests itself in the form of society's negligence.  I am not without blame myself.  But I am getting older and I want someone special.  Not any old scrag-end of society will do.  They say that you are never too old 2 learn something new.  Infact, you learn something new everyday. 

I do find it extremely difficult 2 make friends.  I always have done.  But society has also excluded me, in a certain way.  It's not that I am people-blind.  My feelings have been hurt many times before.  And with the internet and other ways of communication today.  It ain't so easy as they all say.  For a start, I do not have a mobile phone.  And nor do I intend on having one.  I think communication face 2 face, is the ultimate way of doing it properly.  It's no good doing it in half-measures. 

That is why I am wondering whether or not 2 carry on with these Blogs.  I just don't seem 2 be getting any feedback.  I am thinking of calling it a day. I will be shutting down in the new year.  I have already told my Occupational Therapist, in a way 2 sod off.  And that is just the start of it all.  I have no friends, and I've been putting in more effort than anyone else.  No-one appreciates my Blogs out there.