We stopped serving breakfast at 11am. Even though it says Breakfast All Day is served.
Men at work. You cannot come this way or that.
Your travel concession card has just expired.
No room on public transport for the likes of you.
You're not allowed to come on this bus, looking like a Goth all dressed in black.
No right of way for a single person like you.
Tailbacks on M25 expected.
M25 Toll Tax expected, so don't grummble.
Politicians do as they please. But you're not allowed to do as you please outcast.
Disability Benefits Entitlement has been stopped by ATOS.
No, you can't have a house because they're all being used by no-one. And you are a bloody British outcast.
No right of way for you. Get lost outcast.
You ordered a lunch that tastes horrible. But we're not going to give you your money back. That's because the money is now ours to keep. And we know the lunch is so small, you better get it quick before it evaporates into thin air.
The customer is always wrong, when it comes to our marvelous coalition laws and rules.
You're not really insane disabled people. We at ATOS know you are faking it. So we want to give you an assessment, just to humiliate you for The Government.
We The Police will only come to an emergency, if you are a criminal wasting our time.
Massive disruption expected due to an imaginary terrorist threat to the UK.
Dog shit on the streets. It is a crime, so we'll put up loads of useless signs everywhere.
We'll stop you coming out of your home. We'll create a curfew on citizens after 8pm.
You're not allowed to talk in a Public Library about mental health issues, or we will contact the nearest community support officers, and have you arrested for not being silent in the public Library. This has actually happened to me just recently.
You are not allowed to look out of your window, even though that is what windows are for.
You are not allowed to chat up a female here in Oswestry. If you do, we will have you arrested.
You're not allowed to talk in a Public Library about mental health issues, or we will contact the nearest community support officers, and have you arrested for not being silent in the public Library. This has actually happened to me just recently.
You are not allowed to look out of your window, even though that is what windows are for.
You are not allowed to chat up a female here in Oswestry. If you do, we will have you arrested.
Does anybody know any other great political jokes?